Seriously!! Last week I drove all by myself (6 hours, again with a stop at the outlet mall) to SC! I spent the first few days at home all alone and self sufficient! More on all that later! Todd came down Thursday night and we drove back to VA on Sunday.
THIS WEEK… On Monday I arrived at the cancer center for my chemo only to be told that my platelets were too low. Ugh!! On Tuesday, I was physically fine ALL DAY… until around 8:00 pm when I suddenly spiked a fever of over 100. So, on Wednesday morning, I reported to the ER at VCU Hospital as instructed and this morning I am writing to you from my hospital bed! Don’t tell me my life isn’t exciting. Insert eye roll emoji here!!
So, somehow I have developed bacteria in my blood that requires lots of antibiotics and observation. I am told I will be here until my blood cultures have been clear for 48-72 hours. Not the way this week or weekend was supposed to go but then again, I have learned the meaning of the word “tentative” all too well.
Last week, Ah! It was a fast week in SC. I had a list of things I needed to take care of while home. Things like finding a rehearsal dinner venue for a Chase and a Rachel’s wedding, helping Chase pick out clothes for engagement pictures, cleaning out my old office at work, etc. etc. It was a good productive week.
While I still miss SC, specifically my family and friends, I also feel somewhat disconnected now. Virginia is becoming more and more familiar. The piece that we still need so badly is to sell the house in SC and settle here in VA. No matter what, SC will always be my home but VA is growing on me.
The ups and downs of my current reality can be daunting and there are times when the stress tries to overwhelm me. My anxiety got the best of me this week for several reasons and the only thing that brought me peace was to cry out to the Lord and lay it all at his feet. I told him all about it, every care, worry, concern, pain and heartbreak (even though he already knew). As I prayed, I could feel the tension easing as his peace replaced my anxiety and stress. He is in control and knows the outcome already. As much as I would like to know some things in advance, I don’t need to. I only need to believe and put my faith in him. Easier said than done, I admit, but I will not give up practicing the act of trusting God.
As I was leaving the house yesterday to go to the ER, I absentmindedly grabbed a notebook from the bedside table. This morning as I picked it up a note fell out. It is the note in the picture above. On the paper were notes I had taken while listening to a sermon online from Elevation Church. I was immediately reminded that even though the fight is not over, I know he has me! It is not the adversity that we should focus on but the opportunity it gives us to reach others and glorify the Lord. Thank you, Lord, for reminding me of this today!!