It’s been a couple if weeks since I sat down to write. As I think back over that time, it is hard to focus on one single theme for the ups and downs that seem to come at me like Death Valley doing the wave. So, let me go back and catch you up!
July 4th weekend was a joy! I left Virginia on Wednesday before the 4th feeling so free and happy to be on the road to SC. I drove with my music up loud and proud. Over the 6 hour drive (broken up by a sort of quick stop at the outlets near Durham) I listened to and sang everything from Casting Crowns to Luke Combs to Def Leopard. For that time and the days following I felt normal….like someone who isn’t battling for their life. We spent a couple of days at the lake with our best friends. I was able to have time with each of my 3 sons over the course of the weekend and even able to host my whole family for brunch. We were so happy to be at home in Clemson. These are all things we don’t really think about, we just do! Let me tell ya, they are so much more! They are blessings, treasure, precious memories to cherish and hold onto!
We had several showings of our house following that weekend but none developed into an offer. It is stressful and I truly try to exercise faith that it will happen in God’s timing. I want his timing to be NOW! I want to create that feeling of home and peace and comfort here in VA so badly. Todd and I both feel the anxiety of being in transition, caught in the “in-between”. I have to continually remind myself that there is only so much we can do and that it will happen. Please Lord, let it be soon!
Then there is the chemo, my body is not cooperating the way it should! I am on cycle number 3, I think. After having an infusion last week, I arrived at VCU for the second infusion and was told again that my WBC count was too low to continue this week. In fact, it was lower than the last time I was told this. So low that I could not travel to Houston today, as scheduled. The plan was to go to MD Anderson to have repeat MRI and CT tests to find out if the chemo was having any effect on the tumors in my lungs. This is where my faith is being tested for sure! I battle thoughts that we would all fight. I worry about what is happening inside my lungs if I can’t stay on the prescribed chemo schedule. What will happen if I am delayed with every cycle? I feel the panic trying to rise up but I WILL NOT give in to it! I rebuke it and pray away the fear, the worry.
I read and listen to sermons online. In the most recent from Elevation, the Pastor’s sermon is based on Acts, Chapter 12. In Acts 12:6, Peter is in prison knowing that he may be executed the next day. The scripture states that he is bound, sitting between 2 soldiers……sleeping!! That is peace, my friends! That is faith that God is in control, no matter what. I pray for that kind of peace. To be able to rest peacefully having put my faith and trust in Jesus Christ and knowing that he is in control. So many times, in my reading and listening I am being reminded that God will use opposition as opportunity. That what we think is meant for our harm, God will use for his glory.
So, you are all caught up now! I am taking it one day, sometimes one hour, at a time. I have set up a make shift craft room in my sister-in-laws office. When I am bored and need to keep my mind busy, I come into this room and play. My latest obsession is making earrings and jewelry. Since I am not allowed to work, I now get lost for hours in this office playing around in all kinds of craft stuff. Many times, in the quiet of this room I swear I can feel the prayers that are going up for me. I am so grateful for each and every one of them.
And… I am acquiring quite a collection of handmade jewelry. Spoiler Alert! Guess what all the women in my family are getting for Christmas, LOL!
I cannot end my post without reminding everyone that July is Sarcoma Awareness Month! Please consider donating to my team for the Race for a Cure, Richmond. OR…I would love to have you join my Good Vibe Tribe Team and participate in the family fun race held on October 26th in Richmond. See my website for details or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to find out more!