For those of you that have been following my story, you probably know what Monday is…….the day that Dr. Brigman at Duke will remove the now large mass that I first noticed as a small painful knot almost 7 months ago. From the beginning, I have been asking…no begging someone….anyone……to remove it. I am very thankful for the experience of the doctors at Duke… but there were times when I would have considered letting anyone get this thing out of me…..a nursing student, a vet, and butcher, you get the idea!
I have been told that I am strong and I agree that I take pride in forging on, holding firm, etc. etc. BUT, let me just get real right now. I woke up yesterday morning (Friday) feeling miserable. Some sort of virus hit me like a ton of bricks. I am talking cold chills, body pain, headache, dizziness, the whole bag. My first thought was NOOOOOOOOO!! I cannot be sick!!
As of tonight, I am still not over it….. BUT….. I am praying and praying and claiming the blood of Jesus and his healing over my body at all times. At the same time, I am believing for God’s will and we have all said “Everything Happens for a Reason”. Does that sound strange to all of you? It certainly does to me. It is one of the things that I want to ask God someday…… no time soon…. but someday. If we are to pray for our healing and if God is our healer then why do things sometimes happen that are contrary to that but may be for our good in his master plan. Confused yet? Now, hold up…..no debating here just me being real. One thing I am sure of is that I can feel the presence of the Lord as I pray. Don’t get me wrong, Todd has had to tell me to “Stop Worrying” more than a few times in the last couple of days. I admit that my mind jumps from God is my healer to the country song “If it’s meant to be, it’ll be” throughout the day. That is just my ADD mind on overload…and the fever.
So, as with most things in my life, it’s gonna be a nail biter right up to Monday morning!! Regardless, this thing will be removed and soon! That I know! I Also know that God is in control and he has me! I will keep praying and I know I have many prayer warriors lifting me up. Thank you to all of you, I am so grateful for those prayers!